Replace my toxic feelings with Love

There is this “emotional sport” that we are advised to do whenever we feel anger, resentment, bitterness and a lack of forgiveness towards another person. We are asked to imagine the person, see Jesus in him or her like how God wants us to behold another, and send out tender feelings of love his or her way.

 

By practicing this, many have become aware and have eventually learned to accept new arrangements, forgive AND forget the wrongdoing, forgive AND love the person, feel good, move on and love some more*. Many times, toxic feelings come from these statements,

“How could one do this to me?”

“He doesn’t know what I am capable of. Watch me!”

“So what? I’m better off than them, they can’t beat me.”

“I have given him this much, but what has he given me in return?”

“She has forgotten about me.”

There is a recurring word in these statements that tells us what we put so much importance on.

 

The talk last May 8 gives us so much Christian wisdom, including this: “Anger must have an expiry date.”

 

A kindhearted friend shares with me that whenever she feels any of these negative emotions, whenever she feels she has thought of herself too much to the point of toxicity, she shifts her concerns towards others. That’s when she would console or help a needy friend, volunteer somewhere, or visit old people. This is the grace of God at work!

 

Resting in the truth that not one of our prayers goes unheard by God, I find myself repeating this when negative emotions arise:

“Jesus, please replace (my anger / bitterness / jealousy / condescension / pride, etc.) with Love.”

 

This might work for you, too, dear Feaster. Thank you, Holy Spirit!

 

*This “emotional sport” is taught in the Prayer and Life Workshops (PLW), a free service, that will start in July. Message the Prayer and Life Workshops – Bacolod page on Facebook if you are interested.

Earthquake!

Dear Feasters, all of us were at the best, most fitting place at 6:30 PM last week. We were praying the Holy Rosary in a place sanctified by God’s Love. We were calling onto God through Jesus and Mama Mary when the earthquake shook the city. We were together. He brought us together.

 

It’s like this: You’re a child strolling with your father. A dog comes, rabid and on the prowl, but your father is there beside you, ready to hold your hand and carry you away. Imagine if you were not with your father. You would have shaken in panic, confused whether to flee in search of your father, or scream in the hopes that your father were nearby.

 

Last week, as the earthquake struck, we just had to cling to the Father who was already there as we were preparing for The Feast. And indeed, last week’s worship was strong and heightened. The songs, too, were never a coincidence but were a message from Him: “Be still and know I am God,” “You hold my every moment / You calm my raging seas,” “The ground is shaking as we’re singing loud for He is awesome.” With a God like that, I’m delightfully, peacefully bobo.

 

I don’t mean to be patronizing like, “oh, we were so blessed unlike the others who were not in church, or a place of worship, or were not with their church friends.” The place that I mean is nothing less than the presence of God.

 

And so my take-home lesson was this: Whether I am at home, at the mall, at a chaotic government office, or at a concert, I must be in God’s presence, holding His hand at all times not out of fear, but out of love. I know I am holding His hand if I do things with love and good intention, and I see Jesus in others. If I find myself thinking ill of another, or in an egoistic spat with a service provider, or ignoring another person, then I am not holding His hand. Good luck when an earthquake comes.

 

We can all learn from Brother Lawrence – illiterate when he entered the Carmelites – who wrote the book, “The Practice of the Presence of God.” His entire life was a prayer whether he was at the Adoration Chapel or the kitchen, while at vespers or while mending shoes. Download a free e-book at www.gutenberg.org .

 

Thank you, Holy Spirit!

 

 

 

 

What Negrenses can teach the world

“Let your conversations be full of grace.”

This verse from Colossians was quoted in last week’s talk on Wisdom.  I am amazed at how the Bible is so direct and simple about this. It need not mask this wisdom with a parable, a riddle, or any mind-boggler. It’s a simple advice that concerns a daily occurrence; and yet it is significant counsel, too, for the foundation of all relationships — conversation.

I recall all those times when I fancy gossip and erroneously justify talking about other people as an “assessment.”  I also recall all the petty talks, the discouraging and harsh words I’ve spewed in my life. How juicy when I let them out… but by the feelings these leave me with, how cheap and lacking in grace!

We cannot underestimate the effects of this simple advice. When we start to favor positive conversations, we do not only change the way we speak, but the way we think as well. We change the landscape of our thoughts such that our perspectives become positive, and our intentions are no longer muddled but more loving.

For example, when we meet a new person, our minds rewired by God’s grace automatically sees the good, withhold judgment even in our thoughts, and (borrowing from the Prayer and Life Workshops), we acknowledge that each one is a “Living Wonder,” an “Interesting Mystery.”

Or perhaps, when we are not serviced properly in stores, we express our disappointment in the action but do it so with kindness, in private, and with the sincere intention of helping improve the way things are done. By no means do we assault the personnel, because it does not only lack grace, but shows how we want to get even or stroke the ego.

I believe that we, Negrenses, must be at the forefront in making a revolution in conversations. Our dialect is not just a body of words, expressions and manner of speaking (intonation). It is, interestingly, a reflection of a distinct culture, a way of life, a mindset.

For instance, when Negrenses are caught in difficult situations, we can manage to exclaim (oftentimes with a crisp, loud clap) “ay, kasadya!”  An oxymoron, sure. But that’s a better response for something that usually calls for a curse. It can also be a reflection of Negrense resilience – that all situations can be overcome with grace.

When we get off a jeepney, ours is not an order to stop (for example, “para”), but a gentle request to get off at a mutually convenient stop (“sa lugar lang”).

Our gentle tone, too, must be preserved and purified. By purified, I mean that we make all our intentions sincere, good, and loving to match how we sound.

Our term for God’s will is so beautiful, too: “pagbuot.” Whereas in “will,” it evokes power and obligation, in “pagbuot” it captures God’s goodness (“buot” being the vernacular for “good”). It gives us a heartwarming illustration that whatever God wills for us is out of his goodness as a Father.

I am so excited for us, Negrenses, as we build and enhance a culture founded in Christ’s gentleness and enriched by local history.

Thank you, Holy Spirit, this work is not mine!